About Damn Time: On Healing and Lizzo

Before we dig into the topic of the day -- when it's time to move from healing to doing -- I'm excited to share that I passed the assessment I was working on last week! 

It was a doozy, but I'm so glad I used the tools I had at my disposal to get it done because receiving the email below felt great. Now I can officially say I have completed the Playing Big Facilitators Training with Tara Mohr!

(If we've discussed how to handle the inner critic, how to parse feedback, or how to connect with your inner mentor, we were using just a few of the tools I learned in that training.)

Now, to the meat of this love letter. 

This is the story of how, at thirty-eight, I finally drove on the highway by my damn self, facing a fear that had crippled me since high school. 

I’m a big believer in going slow and allowing things to take the time they need. 

Honoring your own seasons. Practicing nervous system regulation. Listening to all parts of yourself. Taking turtle steps.

These are powerful tools to make sustained, steady movement on the life you know is waiting for you. 

For a long time, I avoided driving all together. Sitting in the driver’s seat would often trigger a panic attack, so I didn’t do it.  

But my husband knew that anxiety is not a hallmark of freedom, so he lovingly practiced with me until I got my license. I also worked with a talented healer, Mikki Baloy,  and wish I’d had a coach or therapist on my team at the time, too. 

So I was patient with myself. I let myself heal and acclimate. I learned how to regulate my nervous system.

When you’ve done the healing and worked through and honored the muck, you do, indeed, arrive at the other side.

Cut to the start of this year. I realized 2022 is the year I drive on the highway. We were going to be up in Connecticut, where I-95 felt a little easier to me than the D.C. Beltway. I’ve been driving for a decade. My life is shifting to allow bigger things. 

I gave myself a pep talk, reviewing all the work I'd done to get here. I mentally rehearsed what I'd do if something went wrong. I reminded myself of be --> do --> have (BE someone with a big, adventurous, bold, free life --> DO drive on the damn highway --> HAVE the freedom and confidence I'm ready for). 

It was time. All that was left was actually doing the damn thing.  

And that’s how I found myself taking a deep breath – so many deep breaths – and merging onto the highway. I put on some gentle music and repeated, “This is OK. This is OK. This is OK.” 

After an exit or two, I realized: This is OK! It’s actually OK!

I changed the station from Coffee House Radio to pop hits and tuned in just as Lizzo belted out:
It’s about damn time! 

I let out a big laugh and started crying at the same time. (Tears and laughter are both great ways of releasing physical stress, by the way. My body knew just what to do.) 

So I’m eager to know, now that we’ve tipped into the second half of the calendar year:

Where are you feeling, “It’s about damn time!” in your life?

Career change? Renegotiate your relationship with your partner? Book that trip you’ve been dreaming of since before Covid? Hike the Appalachian Trail? Hit reply and let me know! 

And if you know what the thing is but not how to get there, coaching can work wonders. Let me know if you’d like to schedule a free discovery call or if you’re ready to do the damn thing and book a package. Drop a line and we'll get the ball rolling.