Attachment, martyrdom, or devotion
Lately I’ve been thinking about how to move forward with something your soul is calling for…without getting attached to the outcome.
In the last few months, I’ve been getting a big ol’ Universal class about attachment.
Summer of Surrender
Despite working with energy and thought shifts for years, I've been feeling a freedom from attachment on a different level.
Towards the end of what I’ve come to think of as my Summer of Surrender, it felt like nothing was going how I wanted.
Everyone was sick, the kids were bickering nonstop, my patience had all but evaporated, and work was slower than I’d wanted.
Then, I did what I try to remember to do when everything feels rotten. I asked myself what the medicine of this moment was.
If I’m here in Earth School to learn something, what was the lesson here?
The gratitude came crashing over me. With a little emotional distance, I could see how everything was exactly right.
🫀I get to have a body. (I mean, just think about that for a moment!)
💞 I get to share my life with three phenomenal people every day. (Holy WOW.)
🧭 I get to tune into what I need when my patience runs out. (Working on tuning in sooner...)
🌟 I get to do my soul’s work, on my own terms, and I had structured a slow period on purpose to soak up time and adventure with my family while the kids are still so little.
A pause on bickering and illness at the base of Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh.
Geez Louise. Perfect. Every drop.
…So long as I wasn’t attached to the idea of how things “should have been.”
And yes, I'm incredibly lucky. But dear one, so are you.
Charting the course through nonattachment
What I really want to dig into with you today is the mental gymnastics on the flip side of settling into this knowing of nonattachment.
I mean, nonattachment is great and all – really great – but what about goals?
What about the things I feel called to do and want to bring forth?
What about charting the course to the life I envision?
How on earth do I balance that?
The answer came the other morning as I was taking the kids to school. I’ve been working on not being attached to how they should behave – while still providing the scaffolding for them to be loving, engaged people as they grow up.
When I click into that headspace, it allows me to notice and be in awe of who they are right now.
So if I’m not trying to force them to be a certain way, what am I doing?
I am being deeply, lovingly, devoted to them.
Devotion
Devotion, I believe, is the key to creating the life your soul is longing for, without the murkiness of attachment.
Devotion is about the act itself.
If I am devoted to my kids, I witness and tend to them in the way they need.
Savoring the joy of devotion to the attendees of May's Sacred Nature Retreat.
Photo credit: Meghan LaPrairie
If I am devoted to my work, I show up consistently, lovingly, asking what my business needs and being grateful that I am the one to facilitate it.
If I am devoted to my creativity, I look for opportunities to play with paints, to cook differently, to get words on the page.
Devotion is rich and expansive and fulfilling in the moment of the act.
Here's what this shift has looked like for some of my clients.
😣 Agonizing over cover letters (what to say, how many to send) becomes tuning into what your soul is calling you to do—and allowing that to SHINE through your energy and materials. 🤩 And landing the first job you apply for when you activate that new state.
😤 Gritting through the evening routine (making dinner, feeding the kids, cleaning up, getting them ready for bed, trying to keep them in bed) becomes actively shifting your energy and mindset on your way home from work AND having conversations with your spouse about what partnership looks like so you can all be more 🧘🏽♀️ present, relaxed, and joyful during those precious evening hours.
🥺 Experiencing decades of emotional and verbal verbal abuse at home becomes getting clear on what you want your kids to see and doing the deep inner work to understand you are 🥰 WORTHY—and then refusing to accept anything less. Leading to ending a toxic marriage and living in a profound sense of freedom for the first time in 20 years.
What would this shift look like for you? Let's have a call to explore. (No sales pitch, no pressure. Ever.) You can book a free 30-minute call with me here and we can start the conversation.
A note on martyrdom
An important caveat about what devotion is not. Devotion is not martyrdom.
In fact, martyrdom is anathema to devotion.
Part of devotion is ensuring your core needs are attended to so that you can do the work you hold so vital.
Augustus Saint-Gaudens' "Diana of the Tower" on my last museum trip in May. Realizing I'm overdue!
What makes you feel alive and recharged?
Go to the gym.
Go to the woods.
Go to the museum.
Go to the poetry reading.
Go to dinner with beloveds.
Go to your meditation cushion.
Go to bed.
If you give all of yourself to something, anything, you by definition have nothing left. You become a shell. And you are no longer able to do the deep important work your soul is asking you to do.
What are you devoted to?
I would love to know: Where are you feeling called to show up with greater devotion? Write back and let me know!
If you’re ready to deepen it even further and would like support, I have a handful of spaces in my 6-month 1x1 coaching program where we can do just that. Book a 30-minute vision casting call here where we can explore what that would look like for you.
The beautiful part about devotion and my hyper-customized approach is that when you make changes in one area of your life – your parenting, your partnerships, your self-worth, your work – it cascades into all other areas. By pulling at one thread, you begin to unravel everything that isn’t serving you.
It is wild and awesome.
