My Plea: Go Slow in the New Year

I’ve missed writing to you! I didn’t intend to take a holiday hiatus, but the day after leading the Winter Solstice Celebration & Ritual, which was all about honoring the energy of winter, I ran out of steam. Done. Cooked. Right as we officially clicked into winter.

I half-thought about sending a “Happy new year – signing off!” email, but even the thought of doing that was overwhelming. 

So I just stopped and let it be ok. My family took a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Antigua, Guatemala, the first time my whole natal family took a destination trip like this – and now with spouses, kiddos, and in-laws to make a group of 13 pretty awesome people. 

With that break, as often happens, the idea faucet is now on full blast. I have a lot to share with you today.

My January Plea  

This year, will you consider the beauty in going slow?

Here are 4 reasons to embrace the slow lane:

1. Incremental change adds up. We know this rationally, but when we’re eager for transformation, it can be tough to slow down so we can go fast. If you’ve ever signed up for a 401(k) or tried a couch-to-5k program, you’ve witnessed this first-hand. 

1. Your nervous system will thank you. Our nervous systems work hard to keep us safe. When we make a lot of radical changes, that unfamiliarity can trigger the release of stress hormones and cause your nervous system to slam on the brakes in search of the familiar.
   
   By going slow and steady, your nervous system can acclimate along the way and will be far less likely to send up proverbial flares.

2. It allows you to compound wins – and get dopamine hits along the way. When you get a “win,” however you’ve defined that for yourself, you get a little dopamine hit that keeps you coming back for more. Imagine the difference between committing to one small change – say, a daily Wonder Walk – for one month.
   
   Each day, you take the walk, you get the dopamine hit, and you want to come back for more. When you stack a new habit the next month, you get to build on those dopamine hits and set yourself up for success.
   
   By contrast, if you try to make a host of changes at once, and you “fail” at one or all of them, you’re more likely to be flooded with the stress hormone cortisol, which can impact your functioning.
   
   Trust me – dopamine hits are way more fun than cortisol floods. How can you set yourself up for more of the former? 

1. You get better data. If, all of the sudden, you start meditating every day, exercising four times a week, delete all your social media apps, and go vegan, sure, you might feel better 6 weeks in!
   
   But how will you know which of those made the biggest difference? When you need to cut yourself some slack, how will you know which slack to cut?
   
   If instead you made one of those changes per month, you’d be much better able to gauge how each one impacts you, and know where to put your focus. (It's also way more pleasant.)  

Have I convinced you? Good! The next part, of course, is to make sure that you’re going slowly in the right direction. So if you’re in the mood to dream, scheme, and plan for 2023, here are three tools I use. 

Dreaming & Scheming

Check in on your fantasy life  

Do you ever fantasize about moving somewhere else and living a different life? 

Take a few minutes to dig into that fantasy. What appeals to you about it? Who would you be in that world? (This is a great time to bust out your journal.)  

Do you dream about moving to Portland, Oregon, so you can easily go hiking every day? 

Or moving to Provence, spending hours indulging in leisurely seasonal meals after strolling through lavender fields?  

Or setting up life in Oaxaca, Mexico, complete with a pottery studio? 

Excellent. Now that you’ve tapped into what you’re craving, list 5 ways – yes, 5 – you can bring a taste of that into your Today Life. 

For that PNW longing, you could: 

1. Join a hiking meetup

2. Pick up a book of local trails at your library or thrift shop and commit to exploring a new one each weekend

3. Find a nature center or park near your house that you visit daily

4. Plan an epic hiking adventure for this year

5. Make s’mores in your fire pit, since that’s your favorite part of hiking and camping anyway

What else can you come up with? 

Make a vision board  

Vision boards might be life coach cliche, but it’s because they work! I’ve been making them for years, and I love seeing how much has made it off the page and into my life. 

You can go analog with this and sift through magazines to find images and words that speak to you. (Put a request on your local Buy Nothing Group if you need more source material.) When something tugs at you, cut it out and add it to your pile or just start pasting onto a poster board or large sheet of paper. Keep going until it feels like it captures the essence of where you want to head in 2023. 

I like to make mine digitally. I create a secret Pinterest board labeled with the year and start typing in terms. Taos, New Mexico. Herbalism course. Women’s retreat. Candle making. When I see something I like, click “Save” and add it to my board for the year. Then I open Canva (you can do a ton with the free version), create a blank 17 x 11 document (legal size, landscape orientation), and start to arrange my images. When I’m satisfied, I send it to Kinkos and print a copy to hang in my office. 

I’ve used this beauty for the last two years, and am so excited to wrap up a new one for this year. 

Choose a word (or words) for the year  

Now that you’ve done some excavating, what themes do you see? I like to settle on 3 tiers of words. (Is that my Virgo rising showing?) 

1. Theme for the year. This is the overarching anchor and “north star” for the year ahead. For 2021 and 2022, my word was Sacred. If something doesn’t support that theme, is it the right choice for this season of life? 

2. Ways of being. My coach Molly Mahar introduced me to the idea of Ways of Being in her Holiday Council course. The idea is to settle on 5 “WOBs” that support your theme. For Sacred, two of my WOBs were “cosmic” (to help me remember I’m made of stardust and a part of the universe) and “present” (to help me remember to stay tuned in to what’s happening around me). 

3. Foundational terms. This is my addition, and where I slot “retired WOBs” – concepts I have a firm grip on, but don’t want to forget. Love, use, resourced, etc. all live here. 

Listen, you do NOT have to do all three tiers. You don’t have to do any of it! Consider this a menu of options.  

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Pricing Experiment Update  

In October, I announced I was doing an experiment and cutting my rates by 30% through the end of January.  

You can read more about why here. 

Now that the end of the experiment is just a few weeks away, it was time to reflect on how it went, what I’ve learned, and, importantly, what’s next.  

I’ll share more about it in a future Pep Talks & Insights, but I wanted to let you know that I will be returning to my original rates effective Feb. 1. 

If you’ve been thinking about working together, now is the perfect time to book a discovery call so we can talk more about what that would look like.

I’d be shocked if I ever dropped my rates this low again, and I don’t want you to miss out! 

Book a Discovery Call here.

We’ve had a rough few years as a collective. If you’re feeling that 2023 is the year you move forward on the life that’s waiting for you, coaching can be a transformative experience. I’d love to work with you. 

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Whew! You made it! Thanks for jumping right in with me. I’d love to hear what you’re cooking up for this year. Will you drop a line and let me know? Maybe share a picture of your vision board or your fantasy life list? I read (and love!) every email! 

Cheers to you, dear one,