Connecting with your ancestors
Next Tuesday is Samhain (pronounced SOW-in), better known in these parts as Halloween.
I have to admit, I’ve never been a huge Halloween person. I love seeing my kids’ excitement, but aside from some paper bats and cheesecloth ghosts, most of our decorations are more “happy fall” than “spooky season.”
But Samhain, the first holiday in the Celtic Wheel of the Year, has my heart.
It’s said that on this day, the veil is thin, and we can connect with our ancestors more easily. (This is the underpinning for Dia de los Muertos, on November 1, too.)
Wisdom from my ancestors
Last summer, I did a series of ancestral healing sessions with my friend and shaman, Mikki Baloy.
During one session, I connected with my matrilineage – my mom’s mom, and her mom before her, and her mom before her, back for generations.
One thing that struck me was how much these women had been carrying for their families, as far back as I could feel into. There was a sense of real effort, but also of sharing the load and mutual support.
In other words: community.
The details are a little fuzzy, but before the session wrapped, I was given the gift of a beautiful ritual, and I’d like to share it with you.
Nighttime candle ritual
If you have trouble falling asleep at night because you’re carrying so much, this ritual is for you. All you need is a candle.
Take a moment to get still and center yourself. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
Invite in your angels, well and wise ones, benevolent ancestors – use whatever language feels right to you, but do take care to specify that only energies and spirits that hold your highest good are welcome.
When you feel their presence, light the candle.
As the candle burns, send any burden or worry into it, knowing that those you invited in are honored to carry it for you while you sleep. You can always ask for it back in the morning.
I often leave the candle burning while I get ready for bed and read a few pages.
When you’re ready, and feel like you’ve put down and passed off your worries for the time being, express your gratitude and snuff out the candle.
It’s that simple, and I’ve found it helps ease my mind to know that I can set down my concerns while I sleep.
Other ways to connect with ancestors
There are lots of other ways to keep your beloved dead close at this time.
These practices can be used to honor those in your genetic lineage, but don’t feel restricted by that, or like these are unavailable to you if you have a complicated relationship with genetic ancestors.
You can use the approaches below to connect with an ancestral home, chosen family, or those in a spiritual tradition you share. Listen to who you feel called to connect with, and trust what arises.
Make a favorite family recipe. If you have kids, invite them to help you. Share a little about the person behind the recipe, and notice how it fills your bellies and your hearts.
Set out photos. If you’ve been meaning to get ones printed or ask your family for copies of your favorites, now’s the perfect time.
Create a simple altar. For a long time, I resisted working with altars because I worried it was blasphemous. (I spent a lot of time in various church environments growing up.) Once I understood that altars could be a place of veneration – much like visiting a loved one’s gravestone – rather than worship, I felt I could engage in this practice, and my spiritual life is so much richer as a result.
Learn about the plants in your ancestral land. What trees would you find there? What wildflowers? Herbs? Consider bringing them into your home, or file away your new knowledge to see how it comes up in the future.
Sometimes unexpected thoughts or realizations bubble up as you engage in these practices. Make note. Whether it’s your intuition or your beloved connecting with you, these little pings are guiding you to your deepest self.
